Here, There, and Everywhere

So, I have started a new chapter in my life. I now live in the hills of Tennessee. Wahoo! It took a while for me to get here…. I am so thankful the Lord will finish the good work He starts in us because it seems to take me a while to get His meaning. My guidance counselor in college told me something profound once that I will never forget. In fact, we only met once. I was only there for one semester…no I did not get kicked out of college….really people. As we sat in his office talking about where the Lord was leading me, (at that point in my life I was so confused! I had gone into ministry, come out angry and hurt and confused, started healing at home and then went to school loving it and hating it because I just wanted to be back in ministry…like I said, I was really confused) anyways…. as we sat in his office talking about where the Lord was leading me, he said, "I have found that the Lord often works in my life in a similar manner." I thought that was odd but now I totally get it! I mean I can tell you exactly how God tends to work in my life. He gives me a desire, or a vision and I get so excited! In my excited and "Lion" like personality, I rush head-long into the project. "Let's do this!" Seriously, there is not time to waste. So, off I run for the open door…..only to run head first into a door. And let me tell you, IT HURTS. So, after yelling at myself, grasping  my forehead and possibly cursing under my breath, I finally realize the door is shut. I usually get upset for a while, but eventually I submit. There I am on my knees, telling the Lord I am finally ready and willing to go through any door he opens and tells me to go through, I am even willing to just sit in the hall if that is what He wants……and that stupid door opens.

"Repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success."

-C. S. Lewis

You would think by now I would get it. I would understand. But, nope. For some reason, I struggle to remember my lesson. Then again, I feel like it is like in the "Silver Chair" when Aslan tells Jill that his signs seem clear up on the mountain but they will not always look the way she expected them to look in the real world. And if you know the story they didn't. In fact, it was so difficult for her to find them that she missed three of them! Here on earth it can be hard to understand what is clear and easy to grasp on the mountain top. That is one reason I wanted to go into camping ministry. Camp fosters an environment that allows you to "Be still and know that He is God." I didn't really grow up in camp. My first memory of camp was a family camp that my church went on. For some reason my parents couldn't go but I was able to go late with my Nana. All I really remember is that I came late so I had the top bunk with no rails and the ceiling was slanted. (That is a super amazing situation.) In the middle of the night I ended up rolling off the bed and Mrs. Allen had to come to my rescue. Not really a restful experience.

When I was 9 years old my family drug me and all our belongings out into the middle of nowhere. I was so upset about moving. There I laid in a half empty room, on a large new bed that didn't feel like mine. staring up a new ceiling and a bare window next to me that looked out onto an empty and dark field. Hello, Grenola Kansas. There I sat and cried. Little did I know God would use that place to shape and mold me. What an unexpected mile stone in my Christian walk. I was far from my friends and family. We not only moved houses but had to move churches. My best friend and cousin was "too old" for me and I suddenly found myself very alone. It is in our aloneness that God can become our everything. So, at the age of 10, I found myself in the middle of 240 acres of land in no man land of Kansas. There God became so real to me. I love how personal God is. He connects to each of us just the way that fits us. I could hear his voice on the wind. I could feel his embrace in the warm summer breeze. It was like He was there with me. He became not just Yahweh, the Creator of the Universe, but Adoni. He became El-Roi, the God who saw me. He became Shiloh, my peacemaker. He became Jehovah Rahpa, my healing. He became everything to me. My best friend, my brother, my father, my beloved. Let me tell you right now there is nothing greater than our God! And there is no relationship so fulfilling, so amazing, so satisfying as the one we can have with our Savior.

"The sound of 'gentle stillness' after all the thunder and wind have passed will the ultimate Word from God."

-Jim Elliot

Anyhoooo……. I'm really glad God planted that desire of ministry in my life. Little did I know the impact of being able to get away and be still. Even to this day, when I need to get away from life's toils or search through some decisions I like to sneak away to that piece of property and sit. As the little girl who, on family vacation to the Flinstone Park, ran from exhibit to exhibit as fast as her legs could take her, its amazing that He has taught me to sit still! I wouldn't say that I have mastered it yet….baby steps, baby steps. So, what adventure has He brought me into now? Well, I'm not sitting very still that is for sure. But at least I am staying out of trouble. ;) I'm really excited that God has brought me to Tennessee and into the CBM (Children's Bible Ministries) family. Here I am serving the Lord as Intern Coordinator….glorified name for management and delegation of interns extraordinaire. lol

I LOVE IT! I get to minister to and with a great group of interns. I manage schedules, and media, and blogs…. I get to go recruiting at colleges and visit the interns on rotations. It is actually a lot of fun and a lot of work. It may have taken a while for me to get here. I haven't always listened to God the way I should and there have been times of heartache, trails and pain but through it all He has never left me. He has never forsaken me. He is continuing the work that He began in my life. I AM EXACTLY WHERE I AM SUPPOSE TO BE!