This is not my Home

I have been convicted to write this post again and again over the last couple months but for some reason have never been able to make myself sit down and write it…. But thats all changing today. So, here it goes….

I always knew I grew up in a legendary family. Come on, I'm a DAVIS. That word means a lot in Derby, Kansas (and now I have some of you rolling your eyes.) Seriously, everyone seems to know one of my family members. I've always been proud of my heritage. Not only have I looked upon my heritage with the utmost esteem and awe, I have also looked forward to leaving my own legacy. I wanted to be the Jim Elliot, Amy Carmichael, or Hudson Taylor. I wanted to be the Rosa Parks, Martin Luther, or Martin King Jr. I wanted to leave the earth and people be in awe. To leave a mark so big, no one could miss it!

I haven't ever worried about death. As a believer, obviously I don't really need to. However, I haven't really been looking forward to it, or the Lord's return either. When I did think about it, I didn't want to leave….not yet. I have so much I need to do. I want to keep serving, keep building, keep living. All of this was wrapped up in a godly, christian servanthood package. Be the best servant, the greatest missionary, the Sunday school teacher that motivates the next greatest missionary. There is so much that takes time to build and it needs building and I need to do in the little time that I have….build a house, start a mission, organize this, sustain that….LIFE.

LIFE the existence of an individual

Life has a funny way of absorbing us, pulling us in, and tying us down. We find ourselves suddenly content, no more than content, we find ourselves obsessed with LIFE…with existence on this earth. We would sell everything to save it. But this world is not my home. 

When I was a little girl my dad had an old red jeep. During the summer the top and sides would come off, me and the boys would pile in and dad would take us for a "jeep ride" down some old dirt roads. Whenever we went out on these grand adventures dad and us kids would sing a song that affectionately became known as the jeep song:

"I'm gonna sing, sing, sing
I'm gonna shout, shout, shout
I'm gonna sing, I'm gonna shout, Praise the Lord!
Heaven's gates are open wide
 I'm gonna sit at Jesus' side
 I'm gonna sing, I'm gonna shout, Praise the Lord!"

 You know what is often sung with this song? "Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home." Something that is captured in these old songs that I fear we often miss is the the desire for Christ's return. I am often so busy building my kingdom here on the earth, that forget I should be looking for Him! Remember the man in Luke 12? The one who was doing well on this earth, so well that he began to build more. More barns and fields to hold his crops. I always thought this man was being smart. But in verse 20 the Lord says to him, "You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you…"

I don't want to be him. I want to Anna and Simeon…. what a beautiful picture they paint. They sought the Lord; they were near His house and His work. They searched His words to know the meaning and when they saw His promises they held onto them…no more than that, they anticipated them! If only to wait is such expectation as Simeon, that when the trump sounds and shout of the archangel is heard, I may gaze upon my Lord's face and say, "…for my eyes have seen your Salvation…."

It is a constant, every day battle, to keep my focus Heaven-Bound. When I begin to realize, truly realize the brevity of this life it amazes me. More than that, the thought that death is only the beginning for a believe. My favorite verse in Amazing Grace: "When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise then when we've first begun." 

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be caught up in ministry, in preparing meals, in providing for others, in teaching and training. I want to be caught up in my God. So much so that I can't see anything but Him, and I long….truly LONG for His return. So, stop. Stop worrying and being caught up in raising a family, paying off the mortgage, finishing that degree, moving up the ladder at work, serving the church…. instead be caught up in your Savior. Wait for Him….Long for Him, as Anna and Simeon did at the temple. Why? Because….

This world is not our Home...

...We are just passing through

No Rest for the Wicked

"There is no rest for the Wicked, and the Righteous don't need none."

I know it is kind of a regular conversation in the christian community, but it so often needs addressed in my life! The account of Mary and Martha…. and yes, we all feel like Martha and know we should be a Mary. We hear the story, get convicted, vow to change, do a solid week of devotions and then get caught up in the daily chaos of life…AGAIN. I know, I'm not writing anything new….

"Be still and know I AM GOD…." over and over again we here about REST. We hear about WAITING. We hear about BEING STILL. I am not one for sitting still!! Can we review the pieces of my childhood that I have outlined in previous posts??? Let's be honest, if you didn't speak up first, wake up the earliest or run the fastest in my family there wouldn't be anything left! You know the phrase, "the early bird gets the worm?" Ya, that is pretty accurate when you grow up with three brothers! Not to mention, its just not in my nature to sit around. My brother Hunter is opposite of me and I have learned so much from him. He is a more relaxed, laid-back kinda guy. So often when we were younger he would go with the flow while I sat on pins and needles! He would often say, "let's just see what happens…." Inside I would scream and say, "NOOOOO!!! WE NEED A PLAN!" (Ok, so sometimes it was verbal.) Needless to say, in my perspective, if you have a vision, or a goal then PURSUE IT! If there is a purpose then let us ACCOMPLISH IT! It is going to be messy, we don't have to know all the answers but LET'S DO IT! I'm one for ACTION. So, sitting….ya, that's not really my thing. Then again, the older I get in my faith the more I realize it is never suppose to be my thing. It is always GOD's thing. It is so much better when it is His.

But let's get real for a minute… cause the truth is, things need to get done. Deadlines need met, jobs need preformed, dreams need chasing, visions need action, and people need taught to, preached to, counseled and loved. There is a lot that needs done in this world! We can't just sit by and wait for something miraculous….We only have one life on this earth. So many days, so many hours, so many minutes…. We need an urgency. We need a call to action. Ok, I know, it seems like I just wrote the opposite of the first paragraph. The truth is we need both!! Believe it or not, both are found in Scripture. How do we reconcile the Martha/Mary Syndrome??

I think we need look at it from a Heavenly Perspective. Our God is complete. What do I mean by that? Well, just what I said….He lacks nothing. Every part of His character is completely perfect in every way. How do we reconcile Justice and Mercy? How do we reconcile Judgement and Love? The answer is HIM. He is perfectly just and perfectly merciful. He has perfect judgement and perfect love, all at the same time! He is also knows how to balance perfect rest and perfect action. And just as our judgment and love come from the overflow of Himself in us, so should our rest and our actions.

"God, you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in you."  

- Augustine

It is through him that we have perfect rest. He tells us to come to Him because his burden is easy and his yoke is light. When our mind is stayed on him, he gives us perfect peace….peace that passes all understanding! We cannot accomplish true rest without him. After all, he ordained it! On the seventh day of creation, God Almighty rested.

"Rhetoric is a poor substitute for action, and we have trusted only to rhetoric. If we are really to be a great nation, we must not merely talk; we must act big." 

-Theodore Roosevelt

It is also through him that we can accomplish anything. How prideful is it to sit here and think that the kingdom of God is mastered through my own hands?! The truth is he calls us to action, through the power and working of the Holy Spirit. Some of my favorite verses are Romans 12:1-2 which says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God, this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…." What I love about these verses is it depicts a picture. Throughout Scripture we are given commands to obey. As a believer, we are called to action. However, as Romans and other passages tell us, God did not call us to holiness and then leave us to figure it out on our own! He literally says, "Hey Jacque, I am calling you to be holy just like me. But, I know you can't do it on your own so give me your life, let me indwell you, let me work in and through you." As Eric Ludy put it in his video The Gospel, "God, is really good at being God." Isn't that the truth! When you show love, it's HIS LOVE shown through you. When you share the gospel, it's HIS WORDS spoken through you. When you courageously stand for his name, it's HIS COURAGE swelling up within you. IT IS ALL HIM!

So what is the secret to actively resting in chaos? I AM.

"I am the vine; you are the branches….If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you. This is for my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit showing yourselves to be my disciples….You did not choose me, but I choose you and appointed you to go bear fruit…." taken from John 15

Here, There, and Everywhere

So, I have started a new chapter in my life. I now live in the hills of Tennessee. Wahoo! It took a while for me to get here…. I am so thankful the Lord will finish the good work He starts in us because it seems to take me a while to get His meaning. My guidance counselor in college told me something profound once that I will never forget. In fact, we only met once. I was only there for one semester…no I did not get kicked out of college….really people. As we sat in his office talking about where the Lord was leading me, (at that point in my life I was so confused! I had gone into ministry, come out angry and hurt and confused, started healing at home and then went to school loving it and hating it because I just wanted to be back in ministry…like I said, I was really confused) anyways…. as we sat in his office talking about where the Lord was leading me, he said, "I have found that the Lord often works in my life in a similar manner." I thought that was odd but now I totally get it! I mean I can tell you exactly how God tends to work in my life. He gives me a desire, or a vision and I get so excited! In my excited and "Lion" like personality, I rush head-long into the project. "Let's do this!" Seriously, there is not time to waste. So, off I run for the open door…..only to run head first into a door. And let me tell you, IT HURTS. So, after yelling at myself, grasping  my forehead and possibly cursing under my breath, I finally realize the door is shut. I usually get upset for a while, but eventually I submit. There I am on my knees, telling the Lord I am finally ready and willing to go through any door he opens and tells me to go through, I am even willing to just sit in the hall if that is what He wants……and that stupid door opens.

"Repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success."

-C. S. Lewis

You would think by now I would get it. I would understand. But, nope. For some reason, I struggle to remember my lesson. Then again, I feel like it is like in the "Silver Chair" when Aslan tells Jill that his signs seem clear up on the mountain but they will not always look the way she expected them to look in the real world. And if you know the story they didn't. In fact, it was so difficult for her to find them that she missed three of them! Here on earth it can be hard to understand what is clear and easy to grasp on the mountain top. That is one reason I wanted to go into camping ministry. Camp fosters an environment that allows you to "Be still and know that He is God." I didn't really grow up in camp. My first memory of camp was a family camp that my church went on. For some reason my parents couldn't go but I was able to go late with my Nana. All I really remember is that I came late so I had the top bunk with no rails and the ceiling was slanted. (That is a super amazing situation.) In the middle of the night I ended up rolling off the bed and Mrs. Allen had to come to my rescue. Not really a restful experience.

When I was 9 years old my family drug me and all our belongings out into the middle of nowhere. I was so upset about moving. There I laid in a half empty room, on a large new bed that didn't feel like mine. staring up a new ceiling and a bare window next to me that looked out onto an empty and dark field. Hello, Grenola Kansas. There I sat and cried. Little did I know God would use that place to shape and mold me. What an unexpected mile stone in my Christian walk. I was far from my friends and family. We not only moved houses but had to move churches. My best friend and cousin was "too old" for me and I suddenly found myself very alone. It is in our aloneness that God can become our everything. So, at the age of 10, I found myself in the middle of 240 acres of land in no man land of Kansas. There God became so real to me. I love how personal God is. He connects to each of us just the way that fits us. I could hear his voice on the wind. I could feel his embrace in the warm summer breeze. It was like He was there with me. He became not just Yahweh, the Creator of the Universe, but Adoni. He became El-Roi, the God who saw me. He became Shiloh, my peacemaker. He became Jehovah Rahpa, my healing. He became everything to me. My best friend, my brother, my father, my beloved. Let me tell you right now there is nothing greater than our God! And there is no relationship so fulfilling, so amazing, so satisfying as the one we can have with our Savior.

"The sound of 'gentle stillness' after all the thunder and wind have passed will the ultimate Word from God."

-Jim Elliot

Anyhoooo……. I'm really glad God planted that desire of ministry in my life. Little did I know the impact of being able to get away and be still. Even to this day, when I need to get away from life's toils or search through some decisions I like to sneak away to that piece of property and sit. As the little girl who, on family vacation to the Flinstone Park, ran from exhibit to exhibit as fast as her legs could take her, its amazing that He has taught me to sit still! I wouldn't say that I have mastered it yet….baby steps, baby steps. So, what adventure has He brought me into now? Well, I'm not sitting very still that is for sure. But at least I am staying out of trouble. ;) I'm really excited that God has brought me to Tennessee and into the CBM (Children's Bible Ministries) family. Here I am serving the Lord as Intern Coordinator….glorified name for management and delegation of interns extraordinaire. lol

I LOVE IT! I get to minister to and with a great group of interns. I manage schedules, and media, and blogs…. I get to go recruiting at colleges and visit the interns on rotations. It is actually a lot of fun and a lot of work. It may have taken a while for me to get here. I haven't always listened to God the way I should and there have been times of heartache, trails and pain but through it all He has never left me. He has never forsaken me. He is continuing the work that He began in my life. I AM EXACTLY WHERE I AM SUPPOSE TO BE!