Life in the Waiting

 
 So I am in one of those times again. One of those moments in life when I am "in the waiting." Haha What on earth am I talking about? Well, I am sure you have been there and if you haven't trust me, you will one day. It's like a novel really. If you are an extensive reader or a writer, then you know exactly what I am talking about. Most of the time we only remember or think about the pivotal moments in a book; the cliff hanger, the moment of shock when crisis hits in the middle of the book, the happily ever after. Seldom do we remember all the moments in-between. All the small dialogue, and the descriptive wording gets lost amongst the heart-stopping, jaw-dropping drama of those pivotal moments. Those moments of descriptive wording or small dialogue are those "in the waiting" moments. They are seldom remembered after the fact and drudgingly hard to read through but they are imperative to the entire story. You have to have them. If you didn't, it wouldn't be a novel, it would just be a memorable quote.

"Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting."-Joyce Meyer

Being in the waiting is terribly hard but super rewarding. It is in these times that we grow in ways we never expected and learn to lean not on our own understanding but on the understanding of one infinitely greater. It takes some pivotal moments to make us come crashing down to our knees, but it is in those times of waiting that James becomes a reality. We hear the word loud and clear during those pivotal moments but it is in the times of waiting that we learn how to be a doer of the word, one step at a time. It is excruciatingly painful but absolutely necessary. It is in these times we wish for time to fly as fast as possible, let us get to the next chapter, PLEASE! Haven't you ever read a book like that? That awkward moment in the book when you know what should happen but it hasn't yet and the characters of the book seem a little lost. You want to take them by the shoulders, give them a firm shake and say, "Don't you understand!! You are suppose to be with him!" or "That is the bad guy, right there!" Whatever it may be, you want it to be resolved. However, you have to go through several painful chapters while the characters figure it out. Yep, that accurately describes what it is like to be "in the waiting." You are the character who doesn't know what is going to happen. You know something is going to happen but what? and when? (Now, you can have more sympathy on the characters of your favorite novel) 

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." -C.S. Lewis 

Oh C.S. Lewis, how you have accurately described life. We can't fly ahead to the next chapter in life, we can't make time move faster any more than we can keep a wave up on the shore. So, we wake up one day at a time, get up and put one foot in front of the other. It sounds like drudgery, but then again isn't it a beautiful picture of utter dependence upon God? The difference my dear friend, is perspective. I've said it before and I'll say it once again. This morning I read Matthew 14, where you find the popular story of Jesus walking on the water. Peter, oh how I love that man. I feel like we would be kindred spirits! So often I read scriptures about Peter and I can't help but shake my head and think, "Oh my. I would have done that too." Here he is so stubborn and strong in his faith, at least enough to ask to climb out of the boat. Why do you think he asked to get out of the boat? If it were me its because I saw the amazing work of Jesus! Isn't that what propels us out of our "boat" to step out in faith in life? He saw Jesus walking on water!!! When God is working, it is natural for us to want to be a part of it. At least it is for me. He jumped out of his comfort zone, decided to be a part of God's amazing work, and suddenly reality hit. It says, "he saw the wind...." What on earth does it mean to "see wind?" I mean we are clearly taught in school that you can't see wind. Even us homeschoolers were taught that! Maybe I'm off on this application but sometimes in my life I sure feel like I see the wind. My life looks pretty good on the outside, it's still going, I'm still serving but boy are there some winds! Wind is hard to explain to others. Sometimes the best you can muster is a "God is working, please pray." 

"We can be tired, weary and emotionally distraught, but after spending time alone with God, we find that He injects into our bodies energy, power and strength." -Charles Stanley

 Ok, let me get back to my original point: PERSPECTIVE. (You know how I love to rabbit trail!) In Matthew 14 it doesn't say that Peter felt the wind or heard the wind it says he SAW the wind. I am pretty sure if you are walking on water in the middle of a huge storm you are going to feel and hear the wind. But you can feel and hear something without focusing on it. I have 5 younger siblings...FIVE! and we were all homeschooled. Let me tell you, I learned quickly to tune out noise. If I didn't I would go crazy! I also had to learn to live in a very small, fitted bubble. I mean there isn't very much "space" on road trips with that big of a family. It's even worse when you have a brother like Garrett, (bless his heart). He is a touchy person, I am NOT. But, he's my baby brother... I remember one time when he was really little, he was scared to sleep by himself or something and poked his head into my room to ask if he could sleep with me. In my loving, older sister way I told him, "Sure, if you sleep at the foot of my bed like a dog." HAHA! Next thing I know I wake up to his little feet in my face! The price of growing up in a big family... When we would go on vacation I often would rather sleep on the floor than be stuck in-between my two sisters. I mean I love them but, I would probably end up falling off the bed anyways, or suffocated by them. Like I said, very small personal space in a big family. What was the point of this rambling....

Oh yes, focus. I have learned to focus in the midst of a crazy and chaotic life...ok I'm getting better at focusing in a crazy and chaotic life. (apparently I need to learn how to stay focused when writing a blog lol) We can't stop the wind. It's going to be there. The noise of it will rush around us and the cold salty water will blow into our face but when we SEE it, that's when we are in trouble. It was at the moment that Peter began to focus on the wind rather than his savior, that he began to sink. We read it and think, "Really, Peter? Jesus was standing right there! For crying out loud, you were walking on water!" But, we so often do the same thing. We jump out of boat with so much expectancy and strong faith but then reality hits. Yes, God is working, we walk on water, as long as we keep focusing on our savior. But, it's awful hard with all the distractions of life that make you feel like your going to sink.

I haven't figured it all out yet but I do know one thing. I have a choice. A choice every day to focus on the struggles and problems and walk through my life like is a drudgery. I can make it through one day just to get through the next. Or, I can focus on God and remember that in the midst of all this craziness he is at work. Maybe realize that I am walking on water! That the fact that I am here and thriving in a storm is the work of God in my life. So, the moment I wake up and begin to put one foot in front of the other, what will my perspective be? How will I choose to live my life in the waiting?

"If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life."-Oscar Wilde