Bugged by Bugs?

     Bugs. I am almost positive that every woman has asked herself why Noah's wife didn't throw them overboard or stomp them out of existence. As for me, I'm not particularly as terrified of them as most. I was the kid who had warts from kissing all those toads I used to catch. I would often save my cousins from a terrifying creature and stomp on them most fiercely, or possible catch them and antagonize all the girls. I've caught lizards, grasshoppers, and rolly pollies. Basically I'm not scared of bugs. As a Kansas girl with three brothers you really can't be. Then again, there aren't that many bugs in the Kansas bug enclopedia. I mean ants are ants, good old fashioned red ants that march in a line and steal your picnic food. That is what I though until the tender age of eight. Lets just say laying down on that creek bank to catch craw-dads wasn't the greatest idea ever. You know the phrase "ants in your pants?" Ya that became a reality. And then an embarrassment as granny had to strip me down and hose me off, all while my cousins stood laughing at my demise. So from then on there were two ants in my vernacular, the regular picnic ant and the dreaded fire ant. But nothing prepared me for this strange state called Florida. 

"Richard doesn't really like me to kill bugs, but sometimes I can't help it." -Cindy Crawford

     At first I thought "Well, its camp and bugs are to be expected." Ya, I think the bugs down here take advantage of that! I have seen bugs I have never even heard the likes of!! They say in Texas everything is bigger. Well, I think Florida can challenge Texas in the BUG department. Bugs that shouldn't fly, fly. Bugs that should be small, are HUGE! and they are everywhere!! In Kansas if you roll in the grass you might get chiggers but here if you take one step you will more than likely get bitten by an ant. I am pretty sure bugs come here to retire. But, I'm still brave. Bugs don't bother me much. I can survive...............

     It started with a little ant. The ant wasn't in the kitchen looking for my food but rather in my shower! "Well, at least its only one." I thought. Then there were more. "At least they are not in my kitchen." I said. But, then they were in my kitchen. I looked around me house and found some Raid. "At least I have raid." I thought. Finally I had conquered the ants.
     Strangely enough I kept finding more bugs around the house. A moth would be stuck in my curtains! A spider would be building a web in the corner, a lizard was behind my couch, a cockroach was found in my kitchen sink, and a frog would be perched on my door. They seemed to just keep coming!! But I bore it. I silently killed them and lived through each situation, UNTIL.......
     I had just come home from a great but short vacation. I
was quietly relaxing in my bed, playing Clash of Clans on my iPad, when i felt something run across me! I jolted and caught a glimpse of the opponent. It moved fast but not fast enough, as I clubbed it with the first thing I could get into my hand, which happened to be my phone. It was silky, like a moth. It had an almond shape like a cockroach and it was silver. My nerves were on edge but it was over, that THING was dead. So, I relaxed, or tried to, and went back to my game. Minutes later it happened again!!!! This time I jumped from my bed! I didn't get to kill it, which means it was still out there. My skin was crawling and I was freaking out. There is only one thing to do in such a situation. CALL MOM!!!!
     A groggy, sleepy voice answered from the other side of the phone. "Hello?"  Now mom's are suppose to be compassionate, helping their daughters in the time of need. They are suppose to be wise, giving their daughter advice when called upon and they are suppose to have the old wives tales up their sleeves to dish out at just such a time. But instead I got laughter, scolding for being so emotional and told to go back to bed. WHAT?!?!?!?! When I did ask for some old wives tale to save me from silverfish, she jokingly told me to drink chamomile tea and then go to bed. Ya, mom I can see right through that one!! *SIGH*

     So, next time you find yourself in a horrible bug situation, don't call your mom, just go sleep on the couch.