Wednesday, October 8, 2014

A House Full


Growing up in a large family is interesting. I don't think a lot of people understand the complexity of the situation. There are things you must learn to survive the crazy life of a big family that others would have never thought about. As my parents always said, "home is the biggest training ground." Boy, is it ever! But for some reason, I wouldn't trade it for the world. The perfect description of this is found in Kung-Fu-Panda (the greatest movie out there as my Uncle Rick says). I love it when Po goes through training and he's horrible at it. He falls and fails time and time again and yet he keeps picking himself up and acting like he had the greatest time of his life! Ok, so it's not the best description. My point was that no matter how hard it is to live with family (and it's always hard because you live in close proximity to people, a lot of them, all with different ideas, expectations and plans) at the end of the day your so in awe and in love with those around you, you couldn't imagine being anywhere else. That is FAMILY. So, what is it really like to grow up in a large family? Well, here are a few things that those who have a lot of siblings will understand.

1. No. Personal. Space. (seriously. none.)
I have eluded to this in previous posts. It is one of the most challenging parts of living in a big family for me personally. Somehow you learn to live with it. As the oldest, I sometimes felt like I was a jungle gym. Somehow I got to be the fun cousin who was willing to play "dogs" with all the little cousins. Now, at any family gathering I can't sit quietly in the corner and listen to adults talk. No. I get drug here and there by little cousins determined to make me play "dogs" or "cowboys and indians" or be Noah's horse....Oh my knees and back....I'm getting to old for all this.
"When brothers agree, no fortress is so strong as their 
common life."― Antisthenes
How is it that in such a large house, I still can't escape? It's getting better now that we are growing up and some of us are moving out, but even in our large house it still seems you can't escape people. To this day, my brother will barge into my room, plop himself on my bed and start talking my ear off! The only way I can stand it is that he usually brings a cup of coffee with him. (Thank Goodness!!) So there are benefits to no personal space. Another good thing is that if keeps you accountable. Try sneaking into the cookie jar with that many siblings! Trust me, someone is going to know you did it and the only way to keep them quiet is if they are in it with you. You can fight all day but as soon as there is a possibility of you both getting in trouble there is a secret bond, code of honor, or truce that occurs between siblings. You can't rat them out unless they don't have anything on you...which is unlikely.

2. Getting called every name but your own
Sigh...whenever my mom tried calling me when I was younger it was always "Julie, Jeff....I mean Jacquelyn!" Yep. I got called my uncle's name! When we get in trouble and mom gets all riled up its funny to hear her yell at you and suddenly in the midst of her rant yell your siblings name. She pauses and then is like, "wait I mean Jacquelyn." and then burst out in laughter. My grandma also had this problem. But in her defense  my cousin's names all start with the same letter in one family. So it wasn't abnormal for me to stand there as my grandma sought to find my name. "Kendra, Kayla, Kelsey...Jacquelyn." Oh the struggle! I have such a unique name and somehow no one could remember it...

3.  Getting Mistaken for Another Family Member
Having three brothers right under me is a benefit. Not many people confused me with my brothers. However, as I got older, Anna and I have apparently confused people. I love how people will do a double take and be like, "Oh, I thought you were your sister." and when I would answer the phone, "Oh, you sound just like your mom." When we were younger our parents got us confused! I guess there was just too much going on and too many people running around but it wasn't uncommon for your parent to be yelling at you, turn around, look at you, and suddenly be like, "Your not Hunter!" No. No, I'm not. "Were did he go?" I don't know mom, he wasn't here when I got here.




4. The Early Bird gets the Good Cereal
I grew up with three brothers!!! THREE!!!! Do you know what it's like to try and find food in a house with THREE BOYS! If you didn't wake up earlier than them and sneak into the kitchen to find breakfast you were left with no milk and the cereal that no one wanted to eat...I eventually gave up. I loved the Christmas' that mom would have us do a cereal exchange. She would wrap up boxes of cereal and then we would draw cards to see who opened first. The next person could open a new one or steal and so on until we all had our own cereal. And if you were lucky, you got your favorite kind and were able to write your name on it and NO ONE was allowed to eat it without your permission! Pretty much the only time I got good cereal for breakfast.
"Sometimes siblings can get in each other's space." 
― Gisele Bündchen
5. Hand-me-downs
Now this is where having three brother's comes in handy. I didn't have to deal with all the hand-me-downs. But, I have seen it at work in our family. My brothers had to deal with it and later my sisters had to deal with it. I actually thought it was cool that my cousins Kendra and Kayla had matching dresses and then Kelsey would always get their hand-me-downs. She hated it but I would convince her that it was awesome and that she could have Kendra's hand-me-downs and I could have Kayla's and then we could have matching dresses to wear on Sundays. Now that my sisters are almost taller than me, I get the benefit of having another closet. It really isn't hand-me-downs and sometimes sharing with younger sisters is not my favorite thing to do but when you are looking for just the right shoes for an outfit and she has some, its pretty awesome.

So having a lot of siblings can challenging at times, but I wouldn't have wanted to grow up any other way. I am pretty sure I wouldn't survive without you guys! From building forts in the back yard, to playing 2-on-2 football, or fighting over the real rules of Monopoly, life just wouldn't be the same without you!! I'm pretty proud to be your older sister and you can barge into my room anytime you want...as long as you bring me coffee. :)

 "We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common  thread that bound us all together." ― Erma Bombeck


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Life in the Waiting

 
 So I am in one of those times again. One of those moments in life when I am "in the waiting." Haha What on earth am I talking about? Well, I am sure you have been there and if you haven't trust me, you will one day. It's like a novel really. If you are an extensive reader or a writer, then you know exactly what I am talking about. Most of the time we only remember or think about the pivotal moments in a book; the cliff hanger, the moment of shock when crisis hits in the middle of the book, the happily ever after. Seldom do we remember all the moments in-between. All the small dialogue, and the descriptive wording gets lost amongst the heart-stopping, jaw-dropping drama of those pivotal moments. Those moments of descriptive wording or small dialogue are those "in the waiting" moments. They are seldom remembered after the fact and drudgingly hard to read through but they are imperative to the entire story. You have to have them. If you didn't, it wouldn't be a novel, it would just be a memorable quote.
"Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting."-Joyce Meyer
Being in the waiting is terribly hard but super rewarding. It is in these times that we grow in ways we never expected and learn to lean not on our own understanding but on the understanding of one infinitely greater. It takes some pivotal moments to make us come crashing down to our knees, but it is in those times of waiting that James becomes a reality. We hear the word loud and clear during those pivotal moments but it is in the times of waiting that we learn how to be a doer of the word, one step at a time. It is excruciatingly painful but absolutely necessary. It is in these times we wish for time to fly as fast as possible, let us get to the next chapter, PLEASE! Haven't you ever read a book like that? That awkward moment in the book when you know what should happen but it hasn't yet and the characters of the book seem a little lost. You want to take them by the shoulders, give them a firm shake and say, "Don't you understand!! You are suppose to be with him!" or "That is the bad guy, right there!" Whatever it may be, you want it to be resolved. However, you have to go through several painful chapters while the characters figure it out. Yep, that accurately describes what it is like to be "in the waiting." You are the character who doesn't know what is going to happen. You know something is going to happen but what? and when? (Now, you can have more sympathy on the characters of your favorite novel) 
"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." -C.S. Lewis 
Oh C.S. Lewis, how you have accurately described life. We can't fly ahead to the next chapter in life, we can't make time move faster any more than we can keep a wave up on the shore. So, we wake up one day at a time, get up and put one foot in front of the other. It sounds like drudgery, but then again isn't it a beautiful picture of utter dependence upon God? The difference my dear friend, is perspective. I've said it before and I'll say it once again. This morning I read Matthew 14, where you find the popular story of Jesus walking on the water. Peter, oh how I love that man. I feel like we would be kindred spirits! So often I read scriptures about Peter and I can't help but shake my head and think, "Oh my. I would have done that too." Here he is so stubborn and strong in his faith, at least enough to ask to climb out of the boat. Why do you think he asked to get out of the boat? If it were me its because I saw the amazing work of Jesus! Isn't that what propels us out of our "boat" to step out in faith in life? He saw Jesus walking on water!!! When God is working, it is natural for us to want to be a part of it. At least it is for me. He jumped out of his comfort zone, decided to be a part of God's amazing work, and suddenly reality hit. It says, "he saw the wind...." What on earth does it mean to "see wind?" I mean we are clearly taught in school that you can't see wind. Even us homeschoolers were taught that! Maybe I'm off on this application but sometimes in my life I sure feel like I see the wind. My life looks pretty good on the outside, it's still going, I'm still serving but boy are there some winds! Wind is hard to explain to others. Sometimes the best you can muster is a "God is working, please pray." 
"We can be tired, weary and emotionally distraught, but after spending time alone with God, we find that He injects into our bodies energy, power and strength." -Charles Stanley
 Ok, let me get back to my original point: PERSPECTIVE. (You know how I love to rabbit trail!) In Matthew 14 it doesn't say that Peter felt the wind or heard the wind it says he SAW the wind. I am pretty sure if you are walking on water in the middle of a huge storm you are going to feel and hear the wind. But you can feel and hear something without focusing on it. I have 5 younger siblings...FIVE! and we were all homeschooled. Let me tell you, I learned quickly to tune out noise. If I didn't I would go crazy! I also had to learn to live in a very small, fitted bubble. I mean there isn't very much "space" on road trips with that big of a family. It's even worse when you have a brother like Garrett, (bless his heart). He is a touchy person, I am NOT. But, he's my baby brother... I remember one time when he was really little, he was scared to sleep by himself or something and poked his head into my room to ask if he could sleep with me. In my loving, older sister way I told him, "Sure, if you sleep at the foot of my bed like a dog." HAHA! Next thing I know I wake up to his little feet in my face! The price of growing up in a big family... When we would go on vacation I often would rather sleep on the floor than be stuck in-between my two sisters. I mean I love them but, I would probably end up falling off the bed anyways, or suffocated by them. Like I said, very small personal space in a big family. What was the point of this rambling....

Oh yes, focus. I have learned to focus in the midst of a crazy and chaotic life...ok I'm getting better at focusing in a crazy and chaotic life. (apparently I need to learn how to stay focused when writing a blog lol) We can't stop the wind. It's going to be there. The noise of it will rush around us and the cold salty water will blow into our face but when we SEE it, that's when we are in trouble. It was at the moment that Peter began to focus on the wind rather than his savior, that he began to sink. We read it and think, "Really, Peter? Jesus was standing right there! For crying out loud, you were walking on water!" But, we so often do the same thing. We jump out of boat with so much expectancy and strong faith but then reality hits. Yes, God is working, we walk on water, as long as we keep focusing on our savior. But, it's awful hard with all the distractions of life that make you feel like your going to sink.

I haven't figured it all out yet but I do know one thing. I have a choice. A choice every day to focus on the struggles and problems and walk through my life like is a drudgery. I can make it through one day just to get through the next. Or, I can focus on God and remember that in the midst of all this craziness he is at work. Maybe realize that I am walking on water! That the fact that I am here and thriving in a storm is the work of God in my life. So, the moment I wake up and begin to put one foot in front of the other, what will my perspective be? How will I choose to live my life in the waiting?



"If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life."-Oscar Wilde