Romantic Notions and Idiotic Ideas

     There is a secret I try so desperately hard to keep hidden, but it always slips out eventually. I am a hopeless romantic. I blame it on the many books I read when I was younger. I can't help it, anything I see or read or hear, I file and something always reminds me of something else. It is so bad that when I was younger I was constantly narrating my life. No, I don't think you understand or grasp the severity of this. If I were to walk out the door of my house this is what would be happening in my head, 

"Jacquelyn slowed pushed open the glass door and stepped out into the sunshine. She slowly walked across the porch and down the steps, breathing in the fresh air. She felt the cool grass beneath her bare toes as she stepped down from the porch into the yard......."

     Yes, it was that bad. I used to write and write and write. I carried a notebook everywhere. I know why now. If I didn't I am sure my head would have exploded with everything that was going through it.  The problem with romantic notions is that if you step back and look at them logically, they can be kinda stupid. I can't tell you how many times I have convinced my friends to go on some sort of hike, because it was a "Romantic notion" and ended up getting lost, drug through mud or something. One time I thought it would be cool to turn off the main road and drive through the dirt trail that ran around the back of the nursery in town and to the back yard of my grandparents house. My little Mazda doesn't have 4 wheel drive apparently.

      When I was about 12, we lived in town and our house backed up to the "woods" with a couple creeks in it. In the summer it was green and covered in vines, EVERYWHERE. It seemed magical. I would often sneak off all on my own and trek through the woods. I had my favorite spot, a ways off. Near the edge of one of the creek beds. There was a log that jutted out into the water. It was the perfect place. I could walk out and feel the moss under my feet as the water trickled over them. Later that summer, I thought to myself, "How mysterious and romantic would it be to sneak out here and make this my special swimming hole, just like in little house and the prairie!" You think, "haha ya right." but that is exactly what I did. I would sneak out there, take a towel with me and jump in for a swim. It because ridiculous and gross when I tell you that the creek was really just water rushing from all the culverts in the surrounding neighborhoods that led to the Arkansas River. They say ignorance is bliss. It must be true.
       It gets worse. a while later I was with a cousin's cousin at the Land, in Greonla Kansas. Ya, I know my cousin's cousin, don't you? Anyways, we went for a hike in the woods. We came to the spot by the river where there used to be the main bridge. You can still see the remnants of the rock structure. Right beside it still stands the rail road bridge. I thought, "wouldn't it be romantic to walk across the bridge and into town." So that is what we did. All I can say is it was fun, and if a train had come while we were there we would have died. My uncle wasn't to happy with me when he found out. An idiotic idea? Yes, but a completely romantic notion as well.
   
     You would think I would grow up and get a dose of reality but sometimes my mind floats back to that state of unrealistic romantic notions. Recently I was driving in the golf cart with a friend around campus after dark. The group that was staying there was still out and about, grilling on a huge grill. The smell wafted through the crisp night air and caused us to want to investigate. We drove to the other side of camp and creeply looked on at the festivities, silently wishing we could eat whatever they were cooking. As our golf cart slowly creeped along in the dark, we caught a glimpse of the lake's shiny water underneath the glow of the moon. It looked serene. Suddenly Sarah spoke, "Let's go jump in!" I turned to her, "I'm in JEANS!" I protested. "Take the off." she said jokingly. "There are people around!" I exclaimed in shock at the notion. "I have a sheet." She said with sarcasm. We laughed at the thought of such a ridiculous idea.
     The next day we continually joked that we were going to jump in the lake after dark. When dark came, we found ourselves sitting on the couch watching youtube videos until I was utterly exhausted and decided to retire. As I was entering my room, about to get ready for bed, I hollered through the house, "So, I guess we aren't going to jump in the lake?" I could hear her ears prick up as she replied, "You want to?" I thought for a minute and decided why not? So I yelled back, "Yep, I'm getting on my shorts. Let's do this." I could hear the shock in her voice as she said, "Seriously, I totally did not think you were going to agree to this."
     Minutes later we were giggling with excitement as we rode on the golf cart towards the lake. We arrived and stepped down. Taking each other's hand, and a firm warning of no screaming, we descended the hill towards the beach. The Lake was a dark mass of black water. Slightly creepy. We stepped onto the ling dock and jogged out the the very end. With only a second delay we took the leap and landed with a splash into the dark abyss. We came up and grasped for air began to giggle. What a crazy fantastic night. Quite a Romantic Notion if I do say so myself. You need those every once in a while, whether or not it ends up being an Idiotic Idea.

     

A Near Death Experience!

   It was a night unlike all other nights, except exceptionally normal. I set out to do what I had never done before and yet and often had done in the past. Yes, it is contradictory. But, that is exactly what it was: extreme fun and extremely terrifying all at once. And as the great "Flynn Rider" said as he began his tale, so I will begin mine...."This is the story of how I died. But don't worry its a very fun story..."
     The travel began with myself, pastor Chris, Tara, and 5 youth.The extravaganza was facade under the name "Youth Activity." Don't let the name fool you. It was not all rainbows and kittens. We all hoped in two cars and headed about an hour away to "Old Town" in Kissimmee. (Which is apparently pronounced K-sem-me instead of the way it's spelled which is Kiss-a -me. But, whatever.) It was my first time at this interesting place. As we pulled in I looked with awe at the rides, and shops.
      We all gathered together before setting of so that Chris could explain what we were suppose to do. It all seemed easy enough. No one would have suspected what the night had in store for us. We were handed a piece of paper on which, Chris and Tara had made a collection of crazy things the youth had to do as we videoed them. So, the began. It was really funny! Then we stopped in front of a man who was speaking into a headpiece, convincing the crowd to gather closer and watch. Behind him sat a mechanical bull. Ya, you know what's going to happen next. It only took two young girls, with their pitiful cries and tugging on my arms and before I knew it, there I sat on top of that crazy mechanical bull. A crowd began to gather as the man spoke into the headpiece and made fun of my Kansas origins.  Before I knew it, I was holding on for my life as the machine turned and twisted faster than a blink of an eye. That was the LONGEST 30 seconds of my LIFE!!! But, I held on. I didn't fall off until I was trying to get off the stupid thing. It was harder than it looked. It took me a while before I could walk straight again.
       A few minutes later we had made it past all the shops and found ourselves among all the rides. We stood there a while looking up at them. The youth went back forth from adult to adult begging to ride something. Before long it was decided that some would ride the go carts and others would ride the Super Shot. Which basically just took them up really high and then dropped them. After half of them had gone on the go karts, we started walking to the other ride, tickets in hand. As we walked, they again convinced me to go with them. (I should have said no) I handed my purse to someone to hold and walked up onto the platform. We sat down and got buckled in. Before you could say Jiminy Cricket, we were slowly climbing the tower. Finally we reached the top and stopped. Instead of dropping right back to the ground we just sat, helplessly looking out across the entire town lit up in lights. It might have been pretty if I wasn't expecting to drop at any second. There I was waiting, waiting, waiting, clutching for dear life waiting to drop, but nothing happened!
     The first minute we sat expecting it to suddenly drop, thinking that it was the way the ride worked. The second minute I began to relax and try to enjoy the breeze. Minute three came and you could feel every wind, rock the ride.  After minute five I got brave enough to look towards the ground to see if I could see anything. I saw people looking up and it made me think something was wrong. I was right, something was wrong. Minute six I began to pray. HARD. Around minute ten, we suddenly dropped, beginning our decent to the ground. As soon as we landed safely, pretty much everyone got out of the seat and ran off the platform. I can't blame them.
      Later we found out that the lights had gone out, that the man manning the ride was surprised it stopped and didn't know what to do! He almost turned the power off which would have plunged us to well...disaster! Looking back now I consider myself insane for going up a second time...................

The Wind in my Hair, and Zip Ties on my Bumper

     Cars and I, we have a very......well, interesting relationship. My little green Mazda and I have been through a lot over the years. (and after this post, no one will ever drive with me again. lol) I am a firm believe that God uses cars to teach us. Whether it be patience, anger control or just plain common sense. Yep, my car has taught me much of those things over the years. Our relationship began in the winter of 2009. White Snow covered the ground, it was almost Christmas; and there I stood, peering into the window of a 2001 Mazda Protege. (your dream car, right? LOL. Hey as long as it runs, I love it!) After my dad talked to the car dealer, signed papers, and handed over a check, the baby was mine. I sat behind the wheel of MY car for the first time. I started her up, put her in gear and started to drive. I drove for about 2 Seconds when I was suddenly stuck in a mountain of snow.   Ya, that made a good first impression.

     The next day it was Christmas! I was so excited to drive my new car to Grandma's (two blocks away) to show all my cousins. I parked my car near the end of the drive, in a perfectly logical and legal spot! We had a great Christmas, it was late. Mom was taking the two little girls home, but a few seconds later she came back in crying. Apparently she didn't see my dark green car as she was backing out. And that was my cars first dent. It was sad, but my mom was crying and I felt worse for her. Needless to say, that dent stayed there for a year or two. It was joined by another not long after where my dad accidentally slammed his door into my car. So, my car wasn't treated like a princess.
     Not long after I got my car I was driving home from church late at night. Now, in my little old car, the lights are the kind you twist on and off on the same handle as the blinker. (just to clarify) Ya, you know what's coming don't you? I look in my rearview mirror to see those bright flashing red and blue lights. I pulled over and I got my first experience of being pulled over. If that wasn't bad enough, the guy played football with my dad in high school. That's what happens when you live in a small town and half the town is your relatives. (so, I'm exaggerating a little.) Thank goodness, there was no ticket involved, but unfortunately that was not the only time I got pulled over for not having my lights on. *Sigh* the next time it was worse 'cause Hunter was in the back seat frantically trying to put on a seatbelt while my friend Erika laughed and stuffed french fries in my mouth thinking it would help calm me down. It didn't!! Needless to say, I really don't prefer to drive in the dark.
     Years pass, a few stains, a few pieces fell off here and there. Thanks to my brother Hunter, I can no longer tell when I am in 1 or 2 gear. But hey, I never used those anyways. My radio volume knob fell off too but I can still use it. It just doesn't match everything else on the dash. But, I need a car, not a model. As long as it runs.....
     Then came the spring of 2010, I came down with Strep throat. (It was all my Aunt's fault! She gave it to me when I was helping her move.) Worst sickness ever! My mom made me go to the doctor. IF you know me at all, you know I HATE doctors. I won't go unless it is absolutely necessary, or my mom forces me. But, what I hate worse than doctors or nurses jamming wooden sticks down your throat, is NEEDLES!!! Ughh...just the thought.  But, that is what I got, a stinking shot, in my BUTTOCK! SERIOUSLY!!! So, now I feel awful, probably running a fever, my rear is sore, and I am driving home on Rock Road (a big road for Kansas) in 5 O'clock traffic. That is when it happened, my first wreck. A three car pile up, where I was at the front. And that is when I started crying. I feel stupid for doing so but I couldn't help it! I felt even worse when the fire-man came by and ask if I was alright and I said yes as tears poured from my face. (How embarrassing!) The state trooper came by next and pulled us all off the road and over to a nearby parking lot, telling us to wait for the local police to come. Well, we waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, one of the guys called the police department. They didn't even know to come!! Really! The operator also told him that we were low priority, it was rush hour, and shift change and it might be a while. Well, I guess we know when to rob a bank in Wichita. Really? Shift change at the same time as rush hour? Very efficient. Anyways, after an hour of waiting and then an hour of filling out papers I finally went home. But, the nightmare wasn't over cause I had to deal with the insurance, who, even though it wasn't my fault but their clients fault, wanted to total my car and make me pay $500 to get it back!!! REALLY?!?! He dented my bumper!!
   
 For weeks after, I was always nervous when I had to stop at stoplights or anywhere else. I kept thinking someone would run into me. My fear turned out to be legit because as I was sitting at a red light not to long after, someone did rear end me! It was at a bad intersection so I told him we would go pull into a restaurant passed it and exchange information. Well, that didn't work. Next thing I know, He is gone and I have to call in a hit and run.
     Life goes on, I had a couple friends with me, it was Summer and they like to drive down country roads. So, I took them down some dirt roads. We had a good time, wind blowing, music blaring and then suddenly, CAR SMOKING!! YIKES! Well, that wasn't good. my car was broken and I was stranded out on some dirt road. What is worse was I couldn't tell anyone how to get there. I wasn't necessarily lost mind you. I could probably make my way home, but to tell someone how to get to me? Well, that didn't' work. Terrified of what I parents would say, I called the only person left, my brother! After a long, long, long time of them trying to find us, they managed to get us home. Unfortunately my car wasn't so lucky. They had to fix some belt and get her later. Thank goodness for brother's and Grandpa.
     Well, all was eventually fixed, my car looked well.....better and the only thing left was to get my salvage title. I went up to the big city one day to get it all squared away. A lady with a clipboard came out to my car. She asked me to open the hood. (Now, you know my and cars. Ya, it took me a while to figure that one out.) I finally got it, she peered in for a second, wrote down something and started speed walking back to the office. Slightly unsure of what to do, I girly slammed the hood down and followed.  That turned out to be horrible!! Driving down Kellogg, 60mph, my hood flew up on me. That was the end of my hood. I had to sit on a busy road and wait for my Grandpa to come rescue me with bailing wire. Ya, that was one "red-neck" hood. Don't worry, I got it fixed. The guys down at the auto shop were my best friends that year.

     Well months passed and my car made it all the way from Kansas to Tennessee! Up on the mountain in the snow was my next great adventure! Let me clarify, before I tell you what happened. A few weeks before I had had a very realistic and creepy dream. I was in a little truck I drove around campus and started to roll backwards. I tried everything but it wouldn't stop! I ended up falling off a cliff on campus to my death. It was so real that the next morning when i woke up I literally said to myself, "I died last night!" Creepy right? So, I told my dad the story and he said that if that ever happened, just jump out. Back to real life, it had snowed. I was headed down the hill to work in my car (not smart), when I started to slide. I pressed the brake, it didn't work, I pulled the emergency brake, it didn't work! My dream was coming true!! So, I opened the door and jumped. I know, I know, it was dumb!! But, I was fine and my car ran into the mountain and just broke the bumper. To this day it is zip tied together. I'm telling you, zip ties are the new duck tape! Although my car and I have been through a lot together, she has survived from Kansas to Tennessee, from Tennessee back to Kansas, from Kansas to Missouri, and back several times and finally from Kansas to Florida. What can I say that car is a trooper. I think I'll ride her until she just falls to pieces right in the middle of the road, and with my luck, that is totally possible, ANY DAY.

CARS TEACH YOU MANY A THING ABOUT LIFE